Each 24 hours dissolve into intervals. The night seems better than the day because my scars are hidden, and I am not influenced to perform errands. I feel like I’m less obligated.
PTSD is not concept, it is every moment for over ten years. In fact I am so impacted that sometimes I am subconsciously stunned into a loop of intervals of stunned horror and suicidal depression. Sometimes It is a calloused ora becomes a shield. To slow down and be in one place. To stare at the air in front of my eyes try to push out the people projecting, there with little movement at least an hour, and not out of fear, but because the violation is so unbearable. It is so stifling and time is lost in scars gained.
Sex magic is so absolutely traumatizing. It is to be assaulted, and so completely alone in a Babylon I don’t belong in. The abuse is extreme. It is more humiliating because it’s physically violating psychologically violating, too. The skin your in is forcing itself onto you and humiliating you at the same time while the perpetrators miles away are laughing and feeling more powerful because they are not comfortable unless they are actuating some to keep demonic evocation.
I wouldn’t write about it for years because I was very embarrassed. Someone graping me from afar and boasting about it. My solving the issues seemed to inefficient and when I innerstood what to do there were still distractions.
I’m darker hued, I do not ignore the biases of race in us society because the progenitors of the discomforts are lighter hued racist with resources, although they pretend not to be. They are insulated by their connections with racist institutions and the demonic provide interferences, so people don’t know who they honestly are. They show one face to the public camera and another in private.
Lighter hued have used media and demonic cursing against the rest of the society for centuries. They absorbed and used the voodoo against us once taught. Changing the paradigm is my actuation. I adore my connection with Greater Consciousness. Taking it for granted is not a choice so I’m glad to innerstand and adore my own position of projecting and evocation.
(Yes, it’s updated. I fell asleep while writing this)… Grand Risings No fear.
- 