I Don’t Like Cocaine
I don’t like cocaine
I was thinking the other day
I don’t like cocaine
Believe it or not it was a revelation
I’d seen it on t.v.
Seemed like the “glamorous life”
I once was offered cocaine you see,
…by people who look like me
It was odd to see for the first time after all that footage on t.v. of dirty disheveled people
…Or those people walking the streets in a hurry at 3am
It was an ordinary day when a guy I happen to know pulled out his vile and separated lines in my living room
Then my friends proceeded to snort it off his drivers license in my kitchen
We were already high on ecstasy and weed but I could still think
It was passed around
It would be my first experience and I did wander how it would be
Was it all he said it would be?
He had laughter in his wet eyes
He seemed fine
Cute as can be, and he was clean as if he’d bathed lately
I looked down as he carefully shaped up another line
I was anorexic at the time and thought, why not?
I could lose so much weight, I was already ballooning up to 117 pounds and a size seven!
…and it might be neat if I could get high at the same time
It was a moment of consternation
It was enough time to daydream about the possibilities
…of what might happen to me if I got high and liked it and wanted some more
I was already working, a full time student and at the dance studio 3 or 4 days a week
I didn’t have much money or time free
…hardly even for this impromptu party,
What was I going to do?
Then there was that moment of truth, when he pushed his license under my nose and images of some strange guys pissy smelling dick was all I could think about
How many sweaty balls would I be compelled to fondle to get more of this stuff if l like it?
I was not a likely prostitute
I turned it down
…and you’d think that would be it
…but it wasn’t
Cocaine came around again
Like the b_tch you blocked on your Facebook timeline but popped up anyway because she is friends with your friends
She was saying “I bet you want this $20”, and my pockets were empty
There was a hiccup that interfered with my life’s dreams and there she was in a brand new red t-shirt and jeans with brand new tennis shoes
I will admit this probably wasn’t the way it would usually go
…didn’t fit the normal scenario
To get paid to snort cocaine rather the other way around
At the time I was thinking this may show how “special” I must be
Free drugs too!
…I may have been drinkingtoo much
I gave it a snuffIt was a circus of energy
Everything was shiny like a brand new world!
I danced to the tune playing in my head It didn’t even scare me like I dreaded …and later when I could finally move off my floor
had determined I,
would not commit suicide
…after allI thought about it and realized
… I really didn’t like cocaine
It was the last time I would try it
Lesson squarely learned
The up was not worth the downI didn’t chase anything but my dignity
..after I didn’t get the $20 dollars he’d promised me
To think, I was almost dead for nothing
This was the line in my head
As I said, I don’t like cocaine