Self Help Books🙄

Self Help Books 🙄

I don’t read self help books
Don’t see the need for it
Seems to easy a fix for the messes my feelings make
So I read non fiction
And take pieces of information and sew into the seams of my person
A constant operation
A medicine years in the making
Maybe lifetime chemistry lesson
Hard to believe the pain twisted into my face can be healed in a few pages
In a few organized essays about someone’s compartmentalizations of the ghost in the machinations of my mental orbit
Yes I made up a phrase for it
“Mental orbit”
I am absorbing the research constantly
Trying not to be chewed up and spit out by demons
A mince meat analogy
It’s not easy peasy
But it’s me
Frees me from a dramatic mental eye roll
From feeling like I didn’t do the essay right because it doesn’t work
Or I might launch into my own mental synopsis about how the author has no idea what they are talking about
Or has no honest “clue”
True I’m a cynic
Not of easy answers
But of people who charge for easy worthless advice
That I’ll refuse to use anyway
KD~

PORN

Porn

Porn is a conundrum these days

Sometimes the production rub me the wrong way for the right reasons

I may not be a prude

…….but I must say this seems a wayward phase

Scrolling through a mind field of guilt and novelty and…..

Curiosity can be rude

Or too youthful quite frankly to invade the room when I am in “the mood”

I also made the mistake once of thinking Futanari would be a safe age space

That very day I was wronged by a horny unicorn and a tiny robot

It was not

Got to be I had anxiety every other video

I didn’t come here for this you know

I don’t always mind a fetish or so, but sometimes I ain’t ready and I may never innerstand the appeal of a dirty mattress or a dungeon, a conundrum

I was a little dismayed watching a documentary where an interviewee (!?) said S and M may be encoded from chattel slavery

Made it less a game and more history and now I have several more emotions when I am watching,out of curiosity of course

Vexes me about the same when I see the strange things people are willing to insert or change on their anatomy some of these vagina lips are big as my face

Some things took me awhile to unsee but I scrolled again

….and again, looking the other way wondering how to make amends psychologically

A conundrum, you see. A conundrum.

KKENAE

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