Self Help Books

Self Help Books 🙄 …….

I don’t read self help books
Don’t see the need for it
Seems to easy a fix for the messes my feelings make
So, I read non fiction
And take pieces of information to sew into the seams of my person
A constant operation
A medicine years in the making
Maybe lifetime chemistry lesson
Hard to believe the pain twisted into my face can be healed in a few pages
In a few organized essays about someone’s compartmentalizations of the ghost in the machinations of my mental orbit
Yes, I made up a phrase for it
“Mental orbit”
I am absorbing the research constantly
Fighting not to be chewed up and spit out by demons
A mince meat analogy
It’s not easy peasy
But it’s me
Frees me from a dramatic mental eye roll
From feeling like I didn’t do the essay right because it doesn’t work
Or, I might launch into my own mental synopsis about how the author has no idea what they are talking about
Or has no honest “clue”
True I’m a cynic
Not of easy answers
But of people who charge for easy worthless advice
That I’ll refuse to use anyway
KKENAE

Money

Money is trade. It is not skill though it is often mistaken for skill. Those who have money are not required and often do not have skill. This does not mean people with money don’t have skill, but often people with skill are taken advantage of and suppressed by people who are adept at accumulating money. The reason those people with skills are suppressed, sometimes have to do with a want to hold on to and keep accumulating money that people adept at making money are adjacent or have accumulated.

Sometimes people who are not adept at accumulating money have it by way of inheritance. They also have a way of oppressing people with skill if that is their nature. In them is not the na’as, and those who are not taught can sometimes be most evil. Elite human are not those with the most money ; elite : select group that is superior in terms of ability or qualities to the rest of a group or society. Those with the most money are oftentimes the worst, because they are the most evil.

To let go of the addiction or worship of accumulation of money is to start to innerstand Lapis Lazuli although not all the time completely, but it is a start. Those immature with money can feel like money = maturity. It does not. When those who feel that way manage society there are horrible consequences. Money will not = spiritual currency. Societies based on money do not evolve and have tendency to both retard and un evolve those who feel that way.

VAGINA PILL

VAGINA PILL

It isn’t for the high

~ And I try to make it through the day but…

I’m dismayed when demons speak

I keep to myself

Seeking, I try to dig down to the root

It all gets shelved in faulty memory

~ And causes are a dime a dozen

And though you don’t heal me, you keep me on a keal

Grateful I can feel nostalgia, intense, amused

My couch is a time machine

A place for daydreaming ~ with you

KKENAE

Beauty

I adore that what projects me is beautyful. I know that I will be projected beautyful in every atmosphere I am projected, and in any  life curcumstance in the atmosphere I am projected in. My beauty has attracked many admireres, and hateful jealous people, including those who are connected to the most evil and perverse in this atmosphere. They have done much to try to erase and discredit it. I am made of beauty, and therefore it has withstood some of the worst attacks. A demonic presence saying “you’re ugly” evoking and projecting the perverse presence of a race car driver, and jelouse wife, and piggish sister, that immeadiately degradated some part of my beauty when the demon projected. That same demon was there when my entire face was burned, and when I cried about a photo my son and I took that didn’t reflect the beauty either of us was born and grew up with years after the attacks started. I cried because it was at that moment I felt that the years we were being attacked by such people, who  witness through astral projection might taint our existance in such a negative way that I could hardely feel that life was worth living. There were many other attacks, my hair fell out over night more than a few times, I was hardely sleeping for years, I spent a year eating things I would not eat before that which were not good for my body after ten years of attacks on my being Fruitarian. The poison was so terrible from that, I gained a lot of weight. I had tooth issues. When I looked in the mirror I would percieve a hiss and “you will rot in hell.” I had beautyful teeth to start with but immediately after each time, rot would form on my teeth, and I started to have many infections. My mother’s efforts with our gorgeous teeth was challenged, and I was at the dentist every other month for years. My gorgeous son whom I am extremely proud was called ugly by the driver’s wife over the years, and he stopped taking care of himself  suddenly had a terrible rash that left marks on his skin.  In all this, there were the people who were projected by astral projection making sure I knew I had no privacy. They were both evoking and witnessing it all as they boasted about the evil they were doing and praised satanic forces. I did not hear random voices, and always saw the same people, racist and perverse. 

I adore being beautyful but am afraid that I won’t feel the same about it’s cultivation when these attacks are over. Though I will honestly celebrate when the people who did it are dead. The demons they project are litterally poison and damage was done. Depression is the least of the byproducts. There is also the disappointment of having such a predicument in a place that so many people are either participating in the horror of it underground, or not connected spiritually in a way they are convinced that this is possible. Takes me out of normal perameters of disdaine. This wasn’t a presence I could immediately fight. I know now the spirit of four centuries of atrocious oppression. Indeed one of the projectors projected  nigger every other day for years. 

My son and me wasn’t the only target either. The driver’s wife called her own daughter ugly many times. She would present herself in a drugged up haze, and project her disappointment. The way she said ugly is abrasive. He himself once projected his disappointment at raping his daughter, and having to look at her face. Their perversions don’t have a level to measure, and the way they present them are abusive and boastful. They feel comfortable with their abuse after so many years of it without interferance accept from my projecting it out unto the conciousness, and their insulation in an inviornment influenced by money and racism. And, I got tired of walking around wiping my nose in some phantom way when she seemed to peer out of my eyes high on cocaine, and watching flashes of her daughters room whenever she wanted to say at least she had money while my son and I were struggling finacially. I heard her mention plastic surgery for her daughter. Meanwhile my son was going through some sort of horrible deppression and self esteme issues I had not ever seen in him and would hardly leave his room when he was home. My son was a social butterfly before they were astral projecting curses.

I am honestly hurt I didn’t get the full use of my beauty while it shined at it’s most in this lifetime. I innerstood I was beautyful growing up. Beauty wore me and I adored myself. I projected beauty onto others and liked to ssee them smiling. I didn’t have to remind myself I was pretty. I payed much more attention to my appearance, excersiced , and ate only vegan or Fruitarian. I walked with my head high and with posture my mother constantly reminded me I should. Dating was an addition of gorgeous beings, and I was catered to. I liked being catered to. I liked being smiled at, and complemented. It was not an obseesion, it was a staple of life like eating food, I wasn’t glutonous, but I did eat. That particular food now is not apetizing at all, I have seen sexual abuse projected, and that shut down dating completely. Compliments were not helping, and neither was thinking about using my beauty for more life opportunities a partner could bring. Nothing was going to get past that kind of nasea, and brain fog, and disorientation of watching people confidently project their sexual abuses, and feel they would not only not get caught, but make others do the same. I have had more that a few times they have tried to get me to imagine my own child’s genitals which I couldn’t because I don’t know what it looks like. Twice they projected angrily they would force me into incest, which I can honestly garauntee I will not do. I am also disturbed because I once reported a video to the FBi about a young darkerhued girl being sexually abused. It was on my Facebook timeline shared by another woman. I didn’t see the image clear at first, so clicked on it. Imidiately I was taken to a sight with the full video. I didn’t watch the whole thing of course, when I saw what it was I was horrified and reported it. Now years later someone is projecting that image and saying “you’re a child molester.” I know I wasn’t the only person to report that image to the FBI, and many other people saw what it was, too, because it was a news report on a major news outlet. I don’t ever think of dating anymore and have been in such a depression my usual attire is a mumu, my sewing machine and maniquine has sat unused. 

While my beauty has been assaulted, they have projected images of themselves polished with money. His wife and sister’s voices projected with phrases saying things like “you’re mediocre,” “i’m a drivers wife,” or “you don’t want this.” “your son is ugly because you ugly,” or “no man is going to want you because you ugly.” Or herself winning the Miss America pageant and waving to an audience. An image of his face, saying “you ugly.” Or, “you can’t compete with me.” Their words are lower case on purpose (etymology, those who have eyes to see will see.) Since I gained weight, this is also with them projecting what should be private images of my body. I heard a random person say that she and he snorted so much cocaine they should have two arches in their hairline like McDonalds. I woke up many days to hair falling out feeling like someone was trying to peer out of my eyes to see if my hairline decreased in the formation, and his wife projecting that is what she asked for. Lately sleep is astral projected rape, or pedophilia until my eyes won’t stay open. I may actually buy make up again. Not that I have never used it, but I haven’t taken as great care of my appearance as I used to, and make up has been one of the casualties. 

satanist are inclined to it’s practices for and by jelousy. It is demonic and I have had more than a few images of them projecting themselves saying it’s competition, and they won because they had money, and they would stop my brilliant son from using his knowledge, and me from using my talents in order to compete. Trying to force me into ugliness I was made to innerstand, was an idea originally introduced by the driver’s sister, and his wife has tried to conduct that energy. I have not been outside my home much since it started, both in North Carolina, and where I am now. I have not liked to be seen by other people lately, and I am hurt that the Conciousness I am so fond of didn’t feel my beauty, or harmony of presence should be protected, and not only that, my most embarrassing moments munipulated and witnessed by the enemy which caused them. That my son was also allowed to be such a target. I preached and projected that we should worship our own Gods. My Gods did keep me alive, but not in a quality of life, or harmony of mind that reflected my own belief’s, and it is a hard pill to swallow that the demons congregate so heavily and show out for those that worship them, but though the compassionate beings in the conciousness do actuate, the immediacy of this may be after years of damage, and not for those things that I may feel are either important, or enough to make me feel that I have some reason to want to live, or thrive in the inviornment I have been projected into. No matter how compassionate I am, or how much I cultivate compassion, evil seems to show those who worship they have a place in existence and I don’t always innerstand if the Consciousness is mostly good or not, and have myself and my family, and the beauty of Earth and animals, and the Being who’s speech is lightning saving my life as proof that greatness exists, but not much else. I may have to wait until I actually die and am reincarnated to feel any harmony of presence in this place, and that is disturbing and depressing honestly.

Crying, I innerstood was and is useless years ago, but lately a few tears drip every so often. Unanswered,  and more embarrasing because I know they are witnessing through astral projection, and those who are provoking the tears are congratulating themselves on any that flow. This is not good for eye care and the sun won’t see them as long as I don’t have to leave my home though effort is being put forth to leave the “states” altogether, because they have been bragging for years about their conncection with agencies I thought should opperate for our Greater good but have always seen evidence they don’t. I also have been told by other forces in the Greater Conciousness about their connection with those forces. Being stressed in such a social surrounding is terrible on beauty. 

I was told that I would be attacked by the demonic, and it would hurt because demons are absolutely ruthless, by the Being who speech is lightning, he told me what would happen before it happened, but not how and what to do about it until I was years poisoned. It is steps to take, and seems incomplete instruction, but I am doing the steps. I am doing the steps without honestly knowing if they matter except that I percieved them from him. I was also told by the Greater Conciousness that money didn’t matter. I innerstand the Lapis Lizoli, and know that it doesn’t honestly. As far as my harmony of mind, and beauty, that is all that has mattered for years. Those who do this use money as excuse, weapon, motivation besides honest evil and comforter. I would feel like it was a lie to tell me money didn’t matter if I wasn’t a better person.

I am in my 40’s, what does beauty still mean to me? If I don’t date there are no expectations or percieved disappointments and I am not thinking about it. The problem with that is I didn’t take care of myself for that only. So, that only eliminates one issue. My son’s life is begining and his beauty has already been attacked by satanist since he was ten.

PhD BA Dr ABC 123

School started in an odd way for me. I was growing up in a very small town filled with horses and surrounded by farms. I spent most of my time with my grandmother. During summers I was with my dad in another smaller town. I didn’t use pens or pencils. I didn’t color. I didn’t watch Sesame Street, or hardly any television unless grandma was watching her stories or The Price Is Right. I was outdoors all the time. I dreamt of having my own horse. I shot Bebe guns in my dads front yard. Picked berries in the woods and ate them with sugar. Fished, crabbed and crawfished. I didn’t think about school. So by the time I did start school I hadn’t ever used a crayon or pen before. I didn’t know how to color.

I started in a full day Kindergarten class. This didn’t last long. Maybe a week. There was a little boy there who did things to get my attention, like pull my ponytails, or take my crayons, and I would be angry and demand them back. So, one day he took several of my crayons. I demanded them back as usual but he resisted. I jumped on him and started punching him. He was the teacher’s godson. She decided I would be moved to half day classes.

In the half day class I was given my first assignment. Coloring pictures on a page. I fingered the crayon I hadn’t used yet, not in my first kindergarten class either. We mostly listened to educational music there. I didn’t know what to do so I looked around at the other children. Imitated them but my coloring was outside the lines, and I didn’t write my name. My teacher gave me an F.

I took the paper to my mother when she picked my brother and I up. She was seething! How could I get an F on a coloring assignment?! She asked me ” Don’t you know your name?!” I was astonished to be asked. ” Busy Body?” I answered. My grandma only called me that, rarely my name. She decided my teacher was ridiculous and she would home school me. I was checked out of school asap. She bought Ten Apples Up On Top by Dr. Suess, and started with that book. After a short time with her I could read and write, and do math including time tables up till 5’s. I went back to school for first grade. I didn’t go back to kindergarten. I was ahead of my class. I wrote and read more fluent, and was more advanced than any of the other children. I always finished my work first but then I had idle time to disrupt the class. One of those days a class mate, who couldn’t write well, told me to write down a statement filled with curse words. I did, and my teacher saw it. She actually asked me immediately who told me to write that. She said she knew I hadn’t wrote that because it wasn’t my character. I told her who, and she took me outside of the classroom to talk to me about influences. While we were outside her door there were other teachers walking by. They gathered (3 or 4 of them,) they were discussing me. One teacher said “Kestee’s more advanced, and she’s bored, she needs to go to…” what we then called SITES, they were honors classes. They all agreed, and a plan was made to tell my mom. Of course she agreed, and I was in honors until at least the 7th grade.

I was also in my kindergarten class the first day, a woman walked in to speak with my teacher, and address the class with light banter and encouragement. She asked us did we know what college we wanted to attend. Several hands shot up. Maybe 7. We lived near the suburbs. They were each called upon to tell her and most named their parents or older siblings alma mater. A lot of their dad’s were profesionals, probably had older children and second young wives so they knew about college already. We were already having the influence that college was the tread to aspire. 

I absorbed this, and dreamt of Ivy League. I felt confident it was do~able. I knew I was smart but this was my first real orientation with school. I knew I could get into Ivy League once I was past the Kindergarten fiasco. My classes were not hard, and I loved my teachers. I felt college was the way.

A few years later I was sexually abused, depressed, and daydreaming during most of the class time and making “good enough” grades as a reaction to dreadful circumstances.

I daydreamed during most of my classes for awhile. I was still capable of answering the occasional question of any teacher who thought I wasn’t paying attention. I did read all the time, and my intellect was always padded so I innerstood the lessons quickly, whether I hung on every word or not. I usually absorbed the first 15 minutes or so, or the “gist” of the day’s lesson and innerstood the concepts immediately. The rest of the class time not doing literal writing or physical activity was spent in my daydreams.

High school is something I hardly remember, but I have thought about high school so much the last few years it seems like I remember much more than I do. There were many absences for personal issues. I was having issues my mother didn’t innerstand m, and I did not explain. I was also NOT aware of how demons attack, and know who you are because they know what spiritual natures are alike theirs and who’s are not. I met a future satanist in 7th grade. She will be writen about later. I did get into trouble often then because I was being provoked, so later on in my life there would be fodder for satanist to use to try to influence my mind, try to change me. Parents should pay much attention to who their children are friends with. I would know. I made an evil friend, and ignored the signs I was given by my ancestors and other spirits. I still passed my grade levels and did not fall behind.

College started easily but my personal issues couldn’t be easily explained, and my attempts to didn’t register in a way I was supported. People around me do innerstand I am smart, but on paper there are things that people who are very evil, and very racist try to use against me. I still research and read, and am learning constantly. In fact, this vibrated against my issues once I began to experience some particular issues that forced me to struggle more financially – and homelessness. Some people felt I was too smart to be in that kind of circumstance. I was turned down for  things -and some when I really felt I needed them. A conundrum of contradiction. I was capable but distracted. There are others still who helped me immediately, and moved some mountains because they felt I was too smart for my circumstances.  In other circumstances I was stifled or degraded, or taken less seriously because of my lack of finances. People who equate knowledge = money. Many people worship demonic gods who use money in demonic ways. Those gods  become the judge for those individuals of who is smart , and who is not. Who is good and who is not.

Bougie is a word I have used more in the past 3 months than I have all of my life. Not insultingly but to describe a set of people as I observed them to be. They are steeped in academia, and I wanted community with them. I was struggling with occult attacks. I wanted their collective energy to help me against the negativity of the attacks. I tried to explain to people who assume they know almost everything something they didn’t know. They were not rude but they didn’t relate.

I was talking to scholars about witchcraft. I didn’t think I couldn’t. I didn’t feel it might be welcomed. It wasn’t.

I often see people who want to be free of oppression try to accomplish it within the parameters of the oppressor. I analyze how much of that is through parameter of belief in their information? I’m more annoyed they reject honest knowledge because of that. There are darker hued people who are always thinking about this. I wonder what they believe about themselves? The oppressor has been the progenitor of many false informations. In school I was taught Egyptian royalty only reproduced by with their siblings to keep family breeds pure. My people are smarter than that. I am baffled that other’s who seem smart don’t feel Egyptians would be smart enough to know more about genetics and that Egyptians portrayed images of people who are not disfigured, or look in any way a product of centuries of incest.  A Pharaoh is not a king. It is an allotment of time Egyptians logged our history. If there is a sister it is the Egyptian way of recording alchemy. We have seen examples of incestuous communities in the world. The Egyptians neither painted nor sculpted those kind of images we see in those communities. Evidence of that mindset or physical issue is not evident in the research or the gorgeousness of the empire. It is an obvious inaccuracy. Yet we were taught by colonizers with obvious prejudices against Egyptian knowledge. Information can be lies. Does not have to be knowledge. Some prejudices are so obviously absurd. Why assume Egyptians knew less than Europeans, who we at least know married cousins? Which could yield deformity if the cousin has too many similar genetics. Who are the Egyptian people that they worshipped a kingdom ruled by deformed inbreeds? What does that progenitor of information intend for us to believe about ourselves? How does that shape the parameters of thought for people who believe it? Is it more limited? Please expand. Because, to be rejected by darker hued was to have my voice sometimes shaped by the limitations of my like hued people. It was hurtful. They were astonished I observed Emmitt Till could be homosexual. I have my own gaydar. If that bothers anyone else, it is most probably because they see homosexuality as an insult. I honestly did not, and was among scholars, and people who wanted community with them, but now my discussion was being limited when I did not see the insult. Partially because I quickly apologized because I did not want to be ostracized. I had come to learn also. I learned a long time ago, I diminish my power if I am afraid of ostracism. I usually am not afraid. I don’t usually mean to insult. Why should I be afraid?

There are other obvious absurdities. I do have an advantage of process of thought and insight because of my connection to Greater Consciousness. Shango is my Orisha, he is Thor to Europeans in the Netherland people and Zeus to Grecians. GOD/nature of Solomon = Wisdom. The BEING of lighting who taught Sumerians. I am grateful for that connection which changes my brain instantly with connection (speech is lightning.) I experience a phenomenon. Saves my life and my son’s life. I do adore Him.

While I am dispelling obvious absurdities, I must mention Aztecs and how absurd it is for anyone to believe Europeans were the influence of a gentler Western America. People believe the Aztecs sacrificed human lives to worship. The Aztec were not taking the literal hearts and heads of humans. They were spiritual people who took out motivations that distracted or hindered, and those motivations were described as hearts and heads. The 12 disciples are 12 spirits who make and cultivate Revolution = Jesus. There is a giant sect of people on this Earth worshipping the death of their own revolutions, some while lamenting or attempting to fight oppressions. The Atomic bomb was a horrific human tragedy. The white elementary school teacher who taught us about it smiled as she fed our brains stupidity, and told us it was good. Resources could have been dispensed on evolution of the species. Europeans preoccupied with who was here on Earth first convinced people that war was the only way of evolution. War is part of evolution if war is about evolution, and that was not. Horemakhet is one who is Atlantean. An atlantean lives in a world within a world. Egyptians knew about reincarnation and they did not feel the person would live as ghost but rebirth through conception and those tombs are how we would know we were here before. So we would know our former selves and Europeans and other cultures are stealing what we left to know ourselves in our next lives. We also left our bodies for further proof. That is the reason for mummies. Human (Hues of man) is who we are “race” is a spell.

Faith is taking the first step…

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase… MLK jr

This is for those who don’t believe in satanism. Who believe in a GOD, and casting out demons, but not that there could be a power of that devil whom they believe was “cast out of heaven.” To those who don’t believe the demons have power, but do believe in the power of a devil. Who wait on a Jesus to save the world, or a rapture to end it, but not in the worship of the beautiful SUN whom we see daily speaking knowledge to the world as it does, to grow and maintain all that we see, for whom they perceive a ball of fire only.

Why, do you pray to a supernatural, and feel that it is active in all transactions of thought and movement? What is he then? A living Conscious, either capable of both good and evil, or part of a Greater Consciousness capable of good only, but evil be the disease that has to be extricated, or eradicated for us to live? Who do you feel is listening to your prayers? Why? Why do you need prayer for an unconscious world filled with i animated objects? Or could you be wrong? To who’s advantage do you NOT believe that everything is animate including demons or a devil?

This is a living Consciousness. One where devils dwell as well as non devils. All things around us are either evoked or provoked. Can you truly say you can evoke a GOD to move on your behalf, but not a devil? Can you honestly believe the pastor for his evoking a benevolent being to support the stadium for the church but a demonic person can’t evoke another perverse or murderous being to rape, or help them to murder, and get away with many? What if that devil is a sinister side of the same creator? If there are no demons where is all this sin coming from? To not believe in demons is to believe there is no evil in enslavement. In rape. Can you honestly say those who are worshipping, and murdering in the name of satan have no motivation? ~ though evil itself is always their motivation. Researching about satanic attacks is very convincing. When one says they are murdering because their master satan told them to, and their was no other choice. When an individual testifies their pact with satan, and murders relentlessly, there seems to be some motivation. Yes, there is evil but where does it come from?

Then, there are patterns to murder and mayhem. There are similar stories of people saying they are promised power if they murder. What kind of power? Do you ever wonder? Do you ever wonder what motivated Alister Crowley? Anton Levay, if his satanic bible can be believed, I still roll my eyes at the satanist who say they only “sacrifice” animals, we have all eaten animals but none of us have gained powers, or had the overwhelming urge to murder because we ate a cow, or buffalo or any other animals? Sure, I have the advantage of a higher being to perceive their lies, but they are still very obvious. What of the man who promises the devil he will murder several women a year? ~and started doing that. The teenager who murdered his sister? ~ because he promised the devil he would murder someone. The man who murdered his own mother and brother on the full moon who’s home was filled with demonic literature? The horror stories of teens emancipated from satanic communities and their testimonies? Are humans so naïve that they deem all these people’s testimonies made up? What about the people those emancipated told their stories to before they were believed? There were probably a few, until they happened to make connection somehow with someone who had some knowledge of there situation. What if for years their other world was filled with non believers, and they didn’t have the help to escape because disbelief helped the perpetrators? How many teens have told on pedophilia in high school and were ignored? I know one personally.

How could you ignore that their are teens shooting up schools with pentagrams drawn on their hands and notebooks? The occultism of Nazis, and preoccupation with murdering Jews? Jews?! No one else? Yes, children. There are some who come from satanic cults and testify that they have survived when many others have not. The cultivation of babies inside the cult who are murdered in rituals? There are testimonies from both children and adults, do you really feel they all made up the same story? Around the whole world? Why? There are 3 major religions who all are based upon a god and a satan, how is it you believe in any conscious god in those religions, but not a conscious satan? If it is so easy to stop the devil by prayer then why is there many satanist in the church? Coming out of the churches? Quoting scripture but not struck down, or bursting into flames? Some satanic cults grow out of the church in case you didn’t know. What of the people who emancipate from the occult and testify about getting flown all over the world by rich patrons to do very evil things? What are these rich patrons paying so much for?

I know, satanism is an ugly thing to research. It is, I have. I have had the unfortunate issue of satanic attack. To witness what people usually don’t see in their seeming seamless vision of the Earth in front of them made of trees, animals, rocks, water and humans. There is so much more than that. Think of an ant who has antennae for eyes. hey crawl around in a world of gigantic humans they don’t actually see. You ever wonder why an ant would crawl toward you a gigantic anomaly even if there is food there? Would you walk toward a giant you didn’t know if you saw him sitting or standing next to a bowl of cherries? What if you were extremely hungry? No?

Some Africans lost something very important to the African well being when they traded their spirituality for the oppressors belief system, which deemed them dispensable and “less than.” They lost connection with beings in their consciousness who would tell them, or protect them from those with demonic demeanors and intensions. That connection was important to their freedom to choose their own lives, it connects with the freedom to act their own wills. 400 hundred years of proof, and some still don’t innerstand, and hold tight to beliefs of people who say forgive every violation and trespass on their natures and persons. Honestly? To believe you should forgive every violation in a colonized society? Who is doing most of the violating? Even by their rules if you don’t move ruthlessly, you don’t have to forgive people who do. It is also that: “by their rules,” because they are rules, that they themselves do NOT follow if you are paying any attention. Why should you follow rules of one you have never made connection with? How is it United States was founded by slave owners, but the descendants of slaves still utter the ridiculousness “fore fathers” as if this was something made for them? Say they believe in any country who’s citizens generally look the other way at the injustices on them? It is because they worship and sacrifice to the same gods of their oppressors. Gods are literally anything that is worshipped and sacrificed for. Anything. Some people worship ruthlessness. Oppressor’s worship ruthlessness if you can agree that enslavement is akin to murder, and it is.

To cultivate is to practice, “till the soil” as in Genesis, Cain is the tiller of the ground. To cultivate is to till the ground. The more you cultivate the more you become skilled. What you cultivate is what you have in your genetics. Some cultivate evil, some not. Evil is sin = sinister. To harm a child is a very big wave and satanist do harm children often, especially by sexual abuse. It is to cultivate demons who abuse. I’ll explain:

Every being in the Consciousness is living. Each being is evoked by what motivates them and what motivates them is what is like them. For example, I am human and if I want to do something, I’m not going to purposefully do anything that puts obstacles in my way. That is like every other being. It is the scripture of Jesus saying would a devil cast out devils when he was accused of being one. If you were robbing a home and saw someone across the street also robbing a home would you tell on them? We are all made of spiritual natures and it is according to what we cultivate in past lives and what people who birth us cultivate before us.

In order to create anything you must first make an atmosphere for that creation to exist. Humans don’t create their own atmospheres. We do however react in those atmospheres that exist. Our reactions are the genetics. They are the fat. They are the first fat = Abel. Our reactions to atmosphere is cultivation. That cultivation is written in genetic code. Genetic code cultivate sinister and not sinister = good.

Spirits are living. They make us and the world we live in. I often send love to the SUN and other stars because they shape our atmosphere and those who have gave us such a beautiful planet to exist on. Thank y’all it is a gorgeous Earth. It may not have had to be, but I don’t mean my thank you with with that kind of cynicism. I mean it because the planet is beautiful. Earth is living and speaks and I adore that it does.

satanist evoke what is in the atmosphere that is evil. Evil exist because we witness murders of innocents happen. Racism = Humans are different hues of man, “race” is a spell that divides a being that performs best if it works together with other like beings. We can see that every race has something different which combines makes it and is reaction and sprit. For instance hair is a receptor, an antennae. Some have straight antennae that is fur and some have curly antennae which is hair. Curly antennae conducts more electricity = vibration and holds more light, straight less but straight have more range of electricity it can pic up, curly hold that electricity longer than straight.

Spirits are much larger and more advanced than us. They can exist on multiple planets, in stars, and people and have all that collective knowledge to their advantage. They make us up. Each of us made of a variety of spirits to make a whole. The spirits are the prism of our beings which is light beings. People do not control spirits, spirits control people. People who come from a cultivation of demonic will be used by demonic spirits because that is what they are made of. Alister Crawley spoke exactly this when he said he was as eager to please one master as he was the other, meaning he was eager to please satan. satanic people are that exactly, made of satan and have a want to please that master because evil is what they are made of. They can benefit from doing evil as no one else can, because if you are not made of evil, doing evil won’t make you comfortable.

satanist evoke actual living beings who are evil like them to promote and conduct evil acts and schemes. They evoke by cultivation. Demons are different from beings who promote living because they are ruthless. A satanist has to agree with the being they evoke or they will get in that beings way. If they want to murder they murder to cultivate that beings activity on their behalf. If they want to rape, they rape to evoke rape. Having that beings evocation means more power because now they have the resources of that being which means they can murder and rape across the planet. It can project curses.

Curses can be done by chant. If being chants something it can aid in manifestation. If a being chants something to a person, even without that person being aware that person’s reaction can be detrimental. If that action is not action at all, which is to not move in another direction rather than the direction of the chant. Which means that person is shut down and not opposing the chant. Witches operate like that. Witch is the i, as in itch, as in discomfort. It is to project discomfort to get what is wanted by the projector.

My GODS are GODS that cultivate living. I am today stopping the eating of what I call “flesh food” = cow and other animals because it does not cultivate living and I am usually Fruitarian. This eating flesh food started again earlier this year because I was attacked by satanist and it has given them an advantage. I was so unhappy I was being raped by a spirit that a race car driver and his wife evoked that made me want comfort food. I ate thick food because it was more pleasure sensors activated in my mouth, because I was so unhappy all the time. I gained a lot of weight, and drank to compensate for how much advantage they got because they were able to do some very awful spells. For instance my family is descendant of Comanche tribe, and I was taught in school that Native Americans thanked the animals they killed for being sacrificed. So when they do harm to me by astral projection and get things from demons his wife projects a thank you in the same way that harms me because I ate flesh food today. It’s something I am resolved to stop for the rest of this life. To tell the truth as I ate I don’t know if it’s NEVER okay but I do know it is a step towards living and cultivation of that so I will end the flesh food eating.

A Tree 🌳 Is Known By Its Fruit 🍎

Being connected to the Greater Consciousness a way capable of perceiving the spiritual natures of beings is an extraordinary, and mind expanding way of being. It gives the statement, A Tree Is Known By It’s Fruit a depth that can transcend the lies of demonic, and it is to perceive the honest product of a being. Daily these things leak through many façades and are projected into our consciousnesses by the “woke” in one way or another, but there is so much interference that those who are paying less attention, or who are less connected, don’t respond or percieve those messages with the depth of thought and perception that evokes action immediately, or match the perceived issues.

For instance, Africa is the biggest continent on the planet 🌍. Thousands of years Africans were living in a paradise with clean water, different landscapes and plentiful animals. So to we’re the Aboriginal Americans, Australians and Hawaiians. Those cultures when invaded and colonized were perceived to be less progressive by the European because the Europeans had built their societies differently. Progressing in a way by clearing the land of vegetation, pushing out the animals motivated by war, ruthless and violent and the pursuit of material possessions. They didn’t innerstand that the Aboriginal of those other continents were a product of what was allowed to live after  many people were eliminated from the Earth, and repopulated with a different perspective. To make friends with their consciousness and take care of their surroundings, keeping animals and vegetation plentiful, and innerstanding the Greater Consciousness to evolve ~Including reincarnation. This is what is meant in The Epic of Gilgamesh by lapis lazuli. The blue stone.

The blue stone is alchemical. It is the idea actualized with lessons/knowledge. Lessons that are solid enough to hold under much pressure. The flood is also Alchemical and is the wand of the Greater Consciousness for eliminating those who were sinister. We are all wands. All is magic . A wand is a tool, any extension of the hand or being to actuate a goal. The flood is a wand, an alchemical representation of what eliminated a large group of people who were either sinister and most likely supported the sinister because they were cultivating uncompassionately. A wand of the Greater Consciousness. I percieve the Alchemy. After the flood there was Kmt, who worshiped Yahweh. Yah = YH = God. God = anything worshiped and sacrificed for. Weh = WH = I was, I am, I will be. Yahweh = Worship life evolution. Percieving the Alchemy of Sacred Text is to innerstand that those who cutivated “life” were those who were saved from the flood. Cultivating life is a cultivation of what supports life. What supports life is those things that do not produce premature death. Premature death is the endeavors of the sinister and = evil.

The years of and product of mass colonization of Western European countries give a prespective. The Amazon Rain Forests were jungle gardens where the people planted many speices according to their preferences with their extesive knowledge of botany. The Knowledge passed up through their descendants are our modern medical field without the capitalsm of it or it’s biases towards new techniques that stifle innovation sometimes.Kmt was the connection to spirituality which connects to the Greater Consciousness without the dilution and misinterpretations of Sacred Texts in order to support oppression. Think of the honest perspective on production and who are those who are producing pollution, dirty water, sinister action, racism, homelessness, poison, disease.

Taking Notes

I am writing it down

Writing it down

Writing it down because all the weight of the sound of my voice is astoundingly punching out demons, and screaming echoes

And yes, I know he never listened

…and yes I did wonder if I was the reason she drifted into her own chaos

…she was kind of a bitch anyway, and although I can say it wasn’t my choice to say it, it was said, and the bed I lay in for that wasn’t mine, but kindness isn’t always reciprocated, and time makes thing more complicated sometimes

I was so shocked, possession rocked the foundation of my high school education, and I found it was to be useful in the flood

…And, I am too kind to dismiss such an imprint on the cosmos even if an invisible hand flicked me into controversy of this outrageous portion

Just know…..

I make few apologies as a alien in a government built outside my own constitution

These intrusions were distracting reactions, and I was indignant from insult weary on roads less traveled, and misunderstood and quite frankly confused

I did not correct myself at the time but that is another story

So,

…I wrote it down….. then lost some, forgot and wrote it down again, stopped for awhile when I remembered for the hundredth time, I forgot that I probably might not remember

Until I remembered everything

Until every object was placed in plain sight

Until writing was an anchor for a harmonious disposition

Until I typed my spells in Times New Roman and played them on repeat to rival chanting opposition, and that was madness averted because writing and repeating it 100 times soothed my chaotic mind

Kestee Kenae Davis is beautiful

Kestee Kenae Davis is beautiful x 198 more times

Sometimes I try to remember through the fog and that is an odd 15 minutes

before I give up (and finally remember when I am not trying to)

Is my genius fading or is it on layaway? Am I paying with the fortification of spiritual currency?

Is there honest urgency?

Life’s necessitates, need not be worried about in these circles I run, trying to catch ideas so the sum of my life won’t amount to running circles …are in 198 memos and 3 notebooks and the beautiful blossoming of the folds of my beautiful brain

I was 3 and 3/4ths notebooks and 197 memos behind on my grind , 3 paintings unfinished in 4 years, when I had an epiphany of old Knowledge

KKENAE

Thinking 🤔

I’ve Been Thinking

I think a lot

I think a lot about how much I think

I never think about how easy it would be if I didn’t think so much

I have never uttered the phrase ignorance is bliss

It doesn’t fit me, or exist in the world I imagine would make me happy

Once I thought happiness was the smiles other people wore

I could see their pleasures and I tried to squeeze, push, jangle, trim, gouge their pleasures into me so I could be happy, too

Time seemed fleeting and I was in a hurry

Before it slipped away,

…and I didn’t want to say I missed out on something

Someone tried to burn down my house, they stained up all my memories, and I missed emso many things anyway

It’s exactly how I’ve been thinking the past few days

Like maybe everything stones if you just repeat it enough? Doesn’t matter if it’s bullshit or not…

No, it cannot be

If you just repeat it relentlessly Maybe a lie will stand?

No

…It’s not supposed to be like that

Truth is supposed to hold up under pressure Crystalize and be the measure …of everything

Ping like epiphanies when I stand in the dark and sing into the Ether

It is supposed to hold my song for me until I could think my way back into the light again

It is supposed to reflect me back to myself like the hours I spent happy in my own company

When I traced the lightning on my hips, and twisted the sun on my skin

I am the truth

I didn’t have to defend it

I had only myself to impress

I am bold enough to think …even scream my opinions in the face of my enemies

It is only the bridges that burned

Lit the path ahead

I didn’t dread the desert🌵 then

I always felt I could think my way back to the water

but maybe that wasn’t always the way (?)

I’m thinking lately

About how everything I say matters

About not letting my words shatter frozen out the gate of my mouth, and dissipate into the wind, and how I start the day over again every other moment

It is the redemption of my centuries of thought

…and a prescription of roses, cobalt blue, daydreams and lightning ⚡️, singing and dancing in the light, and marching in the dark

KKENAE

Genesis 🧬 vs Bereshis 🧬

youtube.com/watch